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#1. Roof Diving

Harujump #1

1: You people are so small-minded.
2: You gotta think universally! UNIVERSALLY!
3: Universally,
4: the distance I'm about to jump right now...
sfx: fwoosh
5: is nothing.


1: That's right! Universally, a tiny distance like this
2: is barrier-free!
3: So I'm not scared one bit!
4: I can fly!
5: Hahahahaha!

1: Alright, alright. Just hurry up and jump already, Haru.
2: I'm cold.
3: Next period's gonna start soon.
4: Shuddap already!
5: I'm gonna jump right now!
sfx: creep
6: /The other side's pretty close... but...
7: /If I fall, I'm "dead."
sfx: fwoosh

1: /Umeda Haruki, 16 years old...
2: Now that I think back, my life really wasn't anything special...
3: /Heh heh... pretty dramatic, huh?
4: You really think he'll jump?
5: I dunno...
6: It'd be amazing if he did, though.
7: Alriiiight!
8: Ooh! Ready to go, Haru?!
9: This is pretty far!
10: Aren't you getting tired of running up like that?
11: Shuddap!

1: /I'm gonna jump it! Just watch me...
2: "I..."
3: "like high places!"
sfx: dash
4: Wooaaah!
sfx: fwoom
5: Pretty fast!

1: /I... I like...
2: Gyaaaahhh
sfx: skkkkid
3: Aww...
sfx: moooooo
4: Awww man...
5: He chickened out again?
list: Roof Jump List (1st Years)
Mukai Teppei
Takahashi Kazuo
Yamada Kenji
Itoi Kototo
Sakaguchi Naoto
Nakamura Tomoya
6: I told you, people who are afraid of heights
7: can't do it.
8: Yeah.

1: Hahahaha!
2: Look, he's laughing!
3: But I flew in my mind, man!
sfx: push
4: There it is. Haru's "Quote of the day!"
sfx: scratch
5: Let's write it down.
6: I flew in my miiiind!
list: Teragaki Takayuki
Funawatari Hiromu
Nagata Mitsunori
Miura Yousuke
Nakagawa Naoki
Terajima Aritoshi
Munekata Hisuyuki
Uchikoshi Yuukichi
Umeda Haruki / I flew in my mind, man!
sfx: skritch
7: The numbers on this list are pretty sad.
8: Oh, you're going back, Mukai?
9: Nope.

1: Oooh.
2: He's gonna 'battle' Haru again?
3: I got a question for you?
4: Oh?
5: What is it, Teppei-chan?
6: You said you flew in your mind,
7: correct?
8: Hm... did I say that?
9: You did!
10: Now, my question for you is...
11: if you really flew in your mind, did it feel good?
12: Nope...
13: Not at all...

1: /Yes! I win!
sfx: whap
2: If I had to say,
3: it felt better when I challenged the bald kid with glasses they call the "track ace"
4: to a sprinting contest and beat him.
5: Mmm...!!
6: /So that was his strategy!!
7: Hahahaha...
sfx: flick
8: Dodged ya!
9: Wh... what are you acting all triumphant for?!
10: (You didn't even jump!
sfx: stare
11: I got it! Those birds can surely give me a hint!
12: What?!
sfx: jerk
13: On how to dive!

1: They're so high up in the sky, yet they aren't afraid. Why?
2: Because they're used to it.
3: That's not all!
4: There must be something special in the way their brains are made.
5: Like... they're all stupid or something...
6: /Then you should be able to jump for sure...
7: Yes... that's why you're the only ones who can jump!

1: "All Ushi High kids can jump," isn't that what they say? (*Ushi = Cow)
2: Apparently, It's been a tradition for a long time now.
3: Did they do roof diving when you were a student, Ozaki-sensei?
4: Yes.
5: My friend started it.
6: Wow! Is that so?!
7: /Roof diving... brings back memories...
8: Here's the thing. Last week we got a complaint from a parent whose child was injured.
9: So we banned it for now.
sign: Diving is banned! It's cold up here anyway! -Principal
10: They're not paying us any mind, though.

1: They may be in high school, but that doesn't mean they aren't still children.
2: Hahahaha!
3: I should be able to take care of it with a little educational guidance, though.
4: This way, Ozaki-sensei.
sign: Principal
sfx: rattle
5: Hello.
sfx: blub
6: 23 years ago, you say?
7: My, I never knew about that. (How embarrassing!)
8: I've been head teacher here for five years,
right sign: Head Teacher
left sign: Principal
9: but I never knew our school had such a history!

1: And they split into teams and do competitions? My, that IS something!
2: Indeed!
3: Yeah. If you want to know the truth,
4: Ushi High's Jump team was pretty tough.
5: We had Kazami Ao.
6: And, of course,
7: we had me!

1: What?! The famous athlete, Kazami Ao?! He was a student here?!
2: What?
3: Is he famous now?
4: Wow!
5: Kazami Ao and Ozaki Youjirou!
6: I can't believe the stars of the ski jumping world both came from Ushi High!
7: Why doesn't the team exist anymore, then?
8: If it gave birth to not one, but two stars...
sfx: slurrrp
9: (Ahh, this is good.
10: Because no good players joined it after us.
11: Eventually, it lost its members and popularity.
12: I heard it was abolished after four years.
13: Is that so...

1: But now that I'm here,
sfx: flip
2: I know what I need to do.
3: Revive the Ushi High jump team!
4: /Ao... time sure goes by fast, doesn't it? It's already been 12 years since you left us...
5: /This school could use another guy like you.

sfx: moooo
sfx: rattle
1: Take your seats, everyone!
2: Umeda-kun, put your lunchbox away!
3: It's only second period!
4: Mmmm...?
5: From this day forward,
6: you will all have a new math teacher.
sfx: stare
sfx: munch

1: This is Ozaki Youjirou-sensei.
2: Nice to meet you.
sfx: munch
3: You guys are diving off the roof,
4: aren't you?
5: Just for the record, I'm a man who always plays things by the rules.
6: If it's banned, it's banned!

1: If I catch one of you doing it...
2: Ooh...
sfx: munch munch
3: Mmm?
4: If I catch one of you...
5: you'll be on cow poop duty!
6: /Uuuu!
7: Wahahaha! Prepare yourselves!
8: (Meat patty
9: H... he said that on purpose!
10: (Asshole...
11: Gross! How could he say that when someone's eating?!
12: It's class time...
13: Cows are hard to take care of!
14: skritch skritch
15: They plop 'em out big, like a fat meat patty that's about to be cooked!
16: (Like this!

1: Pfffft!
sfX: gyaaaaaaa waaaaa
2: Ewwww!!
3: Don't draw that on the blackboard!
4: Wahaha! Why not? This is my class now!
sfx: ding dong
sfx: clang
5: Moooo

1: Hooo.
2: Umeda Haruki, eh?
sfx: pssh
3: Heheh... there really are some weird kids out there.
sfx: hoo
4: This roof sure...
5: brings back memories...
6: I know diving's been banned,
7: but I'd sure like to do one, just for old times' sake.

sfx: creak
1: Goddammit!
2: Who does that old fart think he is?!
3: Is that really the best they can find?!
4: (What's going on here?!
5: He must have agreed to work for cheap or something!
6: /And... so it begins, Umeda Haruki.
sfx: grip

1: I can feel the indignation bubbling up in me! I'm going to channel it into my fuel
2: and jump!
3: /He's diving?!
4: /That little weasel...
5: /He's really planning on jumping! Didn't he hear what I said?
6: Hmph.
sfx: step
7: /So he cares more about his own satisfaction than the rules, huh?
sfx: plop...

1: /He's the same kind of man as me and Ao!
2: Alriiiight, I'm gonna jump!!
3: Show me what you've got.
4: I'm gonna get the #1 spot!
sfx: pitter patter
5: No sweat!
6: Alright already.
7: Just go.

1: Yeah! I jumped!
sfx: leap
2: New record!
sfx: mutter
3: OK, OK! Now I just need to practice how to celebrate.
4: /What the hell is he doing?
5: Just like I practiced... I should be able to do it with my eyes closed.
6: Heheheheh.
7: /Technically, it's my last resort, but...
8: The next time I open my eyes!
sfx: dash
9: /I hope to God I'm on the other side!

1: /Hmmm!
sfx: dash
2: snap
3: Kyaaaaaa!!
sfx: skiddddd
4: ...gh?!
5: What?!

1: Uggggh...
2: I wish I could juuuump...
3: Huh?!
4: You wish what?!
5: What are you babbling about?!
sfx: crunch
6: You could have easily done it at the speed you were going!
7: Wahhh!
8: Old man! (You were watching me?!
sfx: stomp
9: Why did you stop?
10: Don't tell me you remembered the cow poop punishment and shrunk back?

1: O...
2: Of course not!
3: I never cared about that to begin with!
4: The reason I stopped now is simply because I fell prey to my weakness...
5: You know, since I'm such a genius, it's only fair that I have a weakness.
6: A weakness...?
7: Hahahaha!
sfx: fwap
8: If you must know, I'm afraid of heights!
9: Bright, high places! Yep!
10: /Afraid of heights...?

1: So you can't jump, then?
sfx: leap
2: No! No! Of course not!
3: It's just, my, uh, biorhythms, yeah, my biorhythms
4: happen to be out of sync right now!
5: In about eight more seconds...
6: I'll be in top condition!
7: (Hahahaha!
8: /There's no way he'll ever be able to ski jump.
9: Just watch me!
10: I feel like I can really do it this time!

1: Haaaah...
sfx: thud
2: Never mind. I've figured out what kind of guy you are.
3: Get back to class.
4: Diving is banned, remember?
5: What?!
6: H... hey, come on, what's the big deal? Just one more time!
7: I can really do it if I try! Really!

1: Then why didn't you try the first time, you dummy?
2: Uuu...
3: I know guys like you. You always have some cheesy line cooked up.
4: fssh
5: But you haven't jumped a single time, have you?
6: You're nothing but talk.
sfx: crunch
sfx: crunch
7: I want to tell you something. And it has nothing to do with me being a teacher.

1: Guys like you piss me off
2: more than anyone else.

1: Guys like you piss me off more than anyone else...
sfx: crunch
2: /Me too, man!

1: Don't you ever come back up here,
2: Umeda.
sfx: creak
sfx: creaaak
sfx: creeaaaaaak

1: Woaaaaahhh!!

sfx: slam
1: Haaaah...
2: He's hopeless. What a letdown...
3: I've got no use for cowards.

1-5: /haa
sfx: throb
6: /I take back what I said this morning about the universe...
sfx: fwooooosh

1: /Sure, it didn't look like anything from the universe...
sfx: fwooooosh
2: /But as far as this unknown radius of a few meters is concerned,
3: /it's a huge, universal event!

1: I jumped!
2: Heheheheh...
sfx: pitter patter

1: Meheheh...
sfx: jerk
2: Uooooohhhhh!!
3: I'm
4: so
5: happppyyyy!
6: How'd ya like that, old man?!
sfx: roll
sfx: silence
sfx: roll

1: Ah!
2: Thank you for class today, Ozaki-sensei.
3: Oh, you're welcome.
4: See you tomorrow.
5: Hey, hold up! Old man!
6: Woohaha!
7: What do you think this is?
sfx: sparkle
8: I'll give you a hint! It's cold, but joyous!
9: Snow.
10: Later.
11: No!
12: It's snow from the other side!
13: (This!
14: It's proof that I jumped!

1: What are you, brain dead? There's snow all over the damn place!
2: That isn't enough proof.
3: I knew it!!
sfx: fwoop
4: And so what if you did make the jump?
5: That doesn't mean anything.
6: Yes it does!
7: I probably beat Mukai's high score!
sign: Ushigaoka High Parking Lot
8: (Not that I measured, though...
9: Fine then. If I asked you to jump again, could you?
10: clink
11: Huh...?!
12: Well... yeah, sure.
13: Unless you conquered your fear with that single jump,
14: you won't be able to.
sign: Cow Crossing

1: While you're sitting here freaking out about five or six meters,
2: my students are out there leaping over 100 like it's nobody's business.
3: Huh?!
4: As a parting gift, I'm going to show you something.
sfx: rustle
5: Oof.
sfx: jerk

sfx: zzzzzip
1: These are my wings.
sfx: fwip
2: Cool, huh?!
3: What?
4: wings?
5: I used to do ski jumping.
6: Now I work as a coach for a youth league.

1: Not like it matters to a guy who can barely jump a roof like you...
2: But as long as I have these, I can fly.
3: /Wings...

This is actually
a water tank.


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