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28. The Judges

THE OLD TESTAMENT #28

tl by danluffey

10)
1. The Judges

1: The Judges are respected leaders who were tasked with saving the Israelites from suffering.
2: When the Canaanites began to oppress the Israelites, a Judge named Deborah appeared.
3: If we obey the will of the LORD, the Canaanites will retreat.

*Judges 4, 11, 13 ~ 17

11)
1: Collect 10,000 troops from the Naphtali and Zebulun tribes.
2: Can we beat the Canaanites with only 10,000? They have a huge army of over 1,000 battalions!
3: The LORD says that he will give us victory regardless! Do you doubt him?!
4: Aahh! No, of course not!
5: "Trust in the LORD with an unclouded heart!"
6: You forget about Moses and his faith so quickly! That is why Israel continues to suffer!
7: Alright! We believe!
8: We believe that we'll win!

12)
1: It's the LORD's will. Barak! You will fight at the head of the troops.
2: As you wish.
3: However...
4: Huh?
5: The glory of victory will not be yours.
6: Are you alright with that?
7: I'm not fighting for glory.
8: I'm fighting for the LORD!
SFX: WAAAHHH
9: The Israelites are attacking us like they've been possessed!
10: Uuu...
11: Attaaaack!
12: Victory has been promised to us!

13)
1: Withdraw for now!
2: Are the Israelites really that strong?
3: No, we were just a bit unprepared.
4: You are the glory of Canaan, General Sisera, and my husband would surely be honored if you were to rest in his tent.
5: Please stay here and rejuvenate yourself. Would you like some goat's milk?
6: I suppose I'll take a little nap, then...
7: SNOOOORE

14)
SFX: THUNK
1: Aaaggh!
2: They said the stake stabbed all the way through to the ground... scary! But why would the wife of a Canaanite kill her own general? Who knows...
3: It's all... the will of the LORD.

15)
1: And so, Israel was liberated from the Canaanites.
2: But as time passed, they started neglecting the laws of Moses once more,
3: and the LORD grew angry and bestowed more suffering upon them. This cycle continued over many, many more years.
4: Then, one day, Israel fell to the brink of defeat at the hand of the Ammonites.
5: There's so many of them. There's no way we'll win...
6: Let's send the strongest men out first. Send out Jephthah! He's the son of a prostitute!
7: You want me to lead the troops?

16)
1: My father had me with a woman outside my family, so I've been hated all my life.
2: Now you wish to make use of me just because it suits you purposes?
3: No, we really believe in your strength!
4: If you accept, we'll give you the highest position in our entire army.
5: If you really trust me that much, then I accept.
6: We're counting on you!
7: I need to answer to everyone's expectations. LORD, please give me strength!
8: If I return victorious, then I will offer the first thing I see up to you, LORD!

17)
1: We won! Jephthah, you're the greatest leader that's ever lived! Long live Jephthah!
SFX: HOORAY!
2: Hm?
3: Father! Congratulations!
4: "I will offer the first thing I see up to you..." That's the promise I made to the LORD!

18)
1: Ohhh...
2: Why did I make such a promise?
3: Father!
4: You must keep the promise you made to the LORD.
5: I will offer my life up to Him.
6: But before that... please, let me enjoy two months in peace.
7: I want to play with my fiends and appreciate the beauty of nature.

19)
1: I've never known love. I will offer my life up to the LORD in its purest form.
2: And so, Jephthah kept his promise to the Lord, who in turn protected the Israelites.
3: However... as time passed, the Israelites once more forgot their faith,
4: so they incurred the wrath of the LORD, and the Philistines conquered them.
5: Aahh...

20)
1: You two haven't been able to give birth to a child for a very long time, but you will soon be blessed with one.
2: Wha...
3: Your child will be key in freeing the Israelites from the Philistines. Do not cut his hair, do not let him eat any farm produce, and do not let him go near any corpses. You must obey this!

21)
1: And so, Manoah and his wife gave birth to a baby boy and named him Samson.
2: He grew to become unbelievably strong, and eventually became famous for his monstrous strength.
3: Even if a thousand Philistines came at him, he could use a bone to beat them all to death.
4: When he became surrounded, he would simply pull gates apart. He was truly unstoppable.
5: Samson, we're counting on you!
6: Chase out the Philistines!
7: This is bad!
8: Please, for the sake of all the Philistines, do your best to find out Samson's weaknesses!

22)
1: Hey, Samson, do you love me?
2: Of course, Delilah!
3: Then tell me something only I can know!
4: What is your weakness?
5: I want to know all about my lover!
6: Well...
7: If I get tied seven times with a brand new rope, I lose all my strength.
8: Aaahh! I'm losing all my strength!
SFX: WITHER
9: Let me try it out!
10: Samson! Oh no! The Philistines are here!
11: What?!
SFX: BCCCCH!

23)
1: You lied to me!
2: Hahaha...
3: If my hair gets weaved together, I lose all my strength.
4: The Philistines are here!
5: What?!
SFX: FWAP
6: Who do you keep lying to me? You don't really love me, do you?!
7: Delilah!
8: The truth is... if my hair is cut, I lose all my strength.

24)
1: Oh, really?
2: We need to take good care of it, then.
3: Mmm...
SFX: SLICE
4: Hurry it up!
5: Aaaahh!
6: Hoooo ho ho!
7: Now you're blind! And we're going to make you grind this grain for the rest of your life!
8: Serves 'im right! Wahaha!
9: Long live the Philistines!

25)
1: Hey, is that Samson guy still alive?
2: Yep! He's been grinding the grain from dawn 'til dusk!
3: Bring him up here! Let's make a fool out of him!
4: C'mon! Walk faster!
5: Hahaha!
SFX: STAGGER
6: Yeah!
7: Look at how much he staggers!
8: My hair... it's grown back a little...
9: I'm tired... may I rest on this pillar?
10: What? How pathetic are you? I can't believe he's the same Samson!
SFX: HAHAHA
11: Wahaha!

26)
1: LORD... give me strength!
SFX: GRIT
SFX: MCCCH
SFX: KABOOOOOM
2: Aaaiieee!
3: Waahh... hiieee!
4: WAAAHHH

27)
SFX: CRUMBLE
1: Hiiee...!
2: Gueehh!
3: Aaaiiiiee!
4: And so...
5: Samson and his monstrous strength took countless Philistine lives.
6: After this, the tribes of Israel continued to spread out into different areas, but many neighboring tribes crowned their own kings and consolidated their military and economic powers in order to stand against them.

28)
1: About Judges
2: The Judges were prophets who were made into leaders, because the Israelites believed that they had been chosen by the LORD.
3: Other tribes would often make the strongest men or the men who possessed the most leadership qualities into kings.
4: Ahem!
5: Public opinion meant everything, so if someone was deemed "unfit to be a leader," then they would often be cast out.
6: Exile!
7: There are other cases where kings would keep their seat of power using force. Regardles, everything depended on what the humans wanted.
8: With the Israelites, however, their Judges were "chosen by the LORD," which superseded human choice.
9: He doesn't look that reliable,
10: but if it's the LORD's will...

29)
1: The laws of Moses are absolute!
2: Israelites are faithful to the LORD's teachings

The LORD protects the Israelites

3: But the Israelites always end up doing something like this...
4: This other god seems like he'll be way nicer to us! Hooray!
5: and so the LORD abandons them.
6: I'm not protecting you any more! Now all the other tribes of Canaan will invade and seize your land!
7: I'm tired of living as a slave! O LORD, please do something!
8: The Israelites repent for their sins
9: In order to save his people, the LORD selects a Judge to fight their enemies and bestows them with victory. After this, the Israelites live in Canaan protected by the LORD.
10: But they end up sinning again, and the LORD abandons them, and they get invaded by other tribes. When they repent, the LORD selects another Judge, who fights and defeats the other tribes. This happened seven times, and is known as the Era of Judges.

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