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35. Absalom

THE OLD TESTAMENT #35

tl by danluffey

152)
6. Absalom

1: Absalom was the most beautiful of David's sons, and his long, lustrous hair was his pride.

*2 Samuel 13 ~ 18, 24

153)
1: Under the reign of David, Israel grew to an abundant size.
2: David took many wives.
3: Michal (No chidren)
4: Ahinoam
5: Maacah
6: Absalom
7: Abigail
8: Amnon
9: Tamar
10: David (In total, he took over ten wives)
11: Solomon, and three other sons
12: Adoniyya
13: Bathsheba
14: Haggith
15: Bathsheba bore him many more children, and in total, he had at least 15 children whose names have been recorded through history.
16: Out of David's children, Maacah's children Absalom and Tamar were by far the most beautiful.

154)
1: Amnon, who was born from another mother, Ahinoam, was strongly drawn toward Tamar.
2: She's my little sister...
3: But... I... I just can't suppress these feelings!
4: Amnon! Let's call a doctor!
5: So much pain... I feel like my head's about to split open!
6: I think if I eat some of the sweets that Tamar makes, I'll feel better.
7: Okay, I'll go make some.

155)
1: I can't get up...
2: Bring them here and let me eat them from your hand, Tamar.
3: Wha...?
4: Are you okay, Amnon?
5: Come here!
6: Aaahh!
7: What are you doing, Amnon?!
8: This is your fault!

156)
1: It's your fault for being too beautiful!
2: Stop... aaahh!
3: Uu... uuu...
4: I don't know why... but now that it's over, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders...

157)
1: Why is she still here?
2: Get out at once.
3: I committed a horrible crime because of you!
4: But... aaahh!
5: Get out!!
6: What? Amnon did what?!
7: Absalom...

158)
1: We're siblings! How could he commit such a sin? I don't know if I can go on living now!
2: Tamar, get a hold of yourself.
3: I'll protect you.
4: Absalom...
5: I'll take care of this.
6: I'll restore your dignity!
SFX: TWITCH...
7: Hey, Amnon.

159)
1: For our next expedition, how about trapping the enemy here?
2: Hmm... not bad.
3: I don't need to worry... it seems like Tamar didn't tell anyone.
4: First I need to make him drop his guard. Just wait a little bit longer, Tamar...
5: Thank you for coming! Go on, eat to your hearts' content!
6: You're the best, Absalom!
7: Thanks for inviting us!
8: Cheers!

160)
1: Go on, have more!
2: No, I'm already full!
3: But you still have enough room to take the blade of Tamar's grudge, don't you?
4: Wha?
5: Take it!!
SFX: STAB

161)
1: Absalom murdered Amnon
2: and escaped! He did it for Tamar, apparently!
3: Your family will kill one another, and you will give birth to adulterers!
4: Aahh...
5: Amnon... my poor son...
6: You don't need to chase after Absalom.
7: This is my fault! My children are suffering because of my sin...

162)
1: Father... isn't he saddened by Amnon's death? Isn't he going to chase after me?
2: Is he really doing what's right as a ruler? Even though he's dead, Amnon's death must be dealt with, as should mine. Otherwise, how will he be able to go on governing his people?
3: Is father... no longer fit to be our ruler?

163)
1: Absalom has been forgiven and returned to Jerusalem, but his father has refused to see him.
2: Seeing him would be too painful...
3: General Joab, please let me see my father. Otherwise, I'll remain a fugitive for the rest of my life!
4: Hmm...
5: Fine. I'll meet with him.
6: As you wish, your majesty...
7: Father!

164)
1: I want to explain to you what happened.
2: No, you don't need to.
3: The LORD sees everything, remember. Just please continue attending to your public duties.
4: Yes, father...
5: What was that?! Is he only thinking of his position as my father?! A ruler must always be prepared to make political decisions!
6: I'm more fit to rule... than him...

165)
1: Please hurry up and accept the petition!
2: Line up in order!
3: It takes so long to get to court that those without enough capital just have to give up in frustration.
4: Line up!
5: You'd better line up neatly, or...
6: I wasn't educated, so I don't even know how to write a petition!
7: I don't have enough money to hire a scribe, either!
8: This is discrimination!
9: It's unfair!
10: It's bullying the weak!
11: I will assist you all.
12: Absalom!

166)
1: Outside the castle wall, Absalom has started taking requests from people who've brought court orders to Jerusalem.
2: He'll give counsel to anyone with judicial questions! What a blessing! What a fine prince he is!
3: He might even be more trustworthy than King David himself...
4: You're right...
5: I wish he'd just hurry up and take over the throne already!
6: Sshh...
7: Royal power struggles only tire out the people. I need a sign that shows I'm rising up for their sake...

167)
1: Preparations have been completed, sir. Your officials and soldiers are burning with anticipation. We merely await your command.
2: Good...
3: I ask for your permission to make a pilgrimage to Hebron,
4: in order to pray for your glory and the stability of our kingdom.
5: Fine. You may also take your subjects with you.

168)
1: According to what the LORD told me, my punishment for sin will only become greater. But when? And how?
2: Just imagining it depresses me. I wish I could just hurry up and pass on the throne to someone else...
3: Hey! Are you even listening to me?
4: Hm...? I'm listening, Bathsheba!
5: Hurry up and designate
6: Solomon as your heir!

169)
1: Absalom and Adoniyya are older than Solomon...
2: Mmm. I will soon.
3: I want you to do it before any sort of power struggle starts!
4: My father David is no longer fit to be king! Therefore I, Absalom, vow to rise now as the next King of Israel!
5: Yeaaaahh! Long live King Absalom!

170)
1: Absalom is revolting!
2: He's coming to attack Jerusalem!
3: The LORD said that all the horrors that will befall my family are due to my grave sin!
4: Hurry! We must prepare to fight back!
5: This is all my fault... I can't let the promised land of Jerusalem become a battlefield because of me!
6: No...
7: I will flee!
8: Wh... what?!

171)
1: Hushai, pretend like you've betrayed me for Absalom.
2: Yes, your majesty.
3: You stay here and use your families to inform me of what's happening.
4: Yes, your majesty.
5: It's time to take Jerusalem!
6: Yeaaaahh!!
7: For now, we'll escape and gather our troops.
8: Yes, your majesty!
9: I need to stop Absalom!

172)
1: I am the one the LORD anointed, so I must take responsibility, as the king...
2: All hail King Absalom!
3: Our new king is born!
4: Set up a tent on top of the palace and gather father's concubines.

173)
1: You all belong to me now, for I have taken the throne!
2: Call me your king.
3: Yes... King Absalom...
4: I did it! I have become the king!

174)
1: David's troops still haven't finished their preparations. We should stop them now!
2: You really are a genius strategist, Ahitophel.
3: Bathsheba... my poor, poor granddaughter... he did what he pleased with her and completely ruined her life! He deserves to fall into ruin!
4: I need to buy some more time so that King David can finish his preparations!
5: Wait. As of now, King Absalom has become our rightful ruler, correct?
6: Mmm...

175)
1: If we hit David while he's fleeing, his remaining forces could pose a problem.
2: In order to eradicate them all at once, we should allow David to flee for a bit more.
3: If we kill David, his men should lose all their morale.
4: Hmm...
5: But we need to fight fairly in order to earn the trust of the people!
6: I want to eradicate every last one of the rebels.
7: Therefore, I'm going to go with Hushai's counsel and allow David to flee for a bit longer.
8: Yes, your majesty!

176)
1: We've received a report from Hushai! He succeeded in buying us more time!
2: Excellent!
3: If we remain calm and finish our preparations, then I'm sure we'll be victorious.
4: The more we wait, the stronger David's power grows... at this rate, Absalom will lose!
5: I was a fool for betting on him! It's all over...

177)
1: Annihilate them! Chaaaarge!
2: Yeaaaaahh!!
SFX: RUMBLE
3: Simply allowing two armies to attack each other head-on is inefficient. We should draw them into the forest and trap them instead.
4: Yes, your majesty!
5: Chaaaarge!!
SFX: RUMBLE
6: Waaahhh!
7: Hiiieee!

178)
1: If we fight in the forest, then we'll be sure to win!
2: Please leave this to us!
3: W... wait, General Joab!
4: Please, whatever you do...
5: don't kill Absalom!
6: As you wish...
7: Our king is too weak to his own emotions. Has he forgotten just what we're really fighting for?

179)
1: We have so many more soldiers... but we can't maneuver well in this forest!
2: Everyone, fall back!
3: Get out of the forest! We must fight in an open space!
4: We need to hurry...!

180)
SFX: JERK!
1: Ah... aaaahh! My hair...!

181)
1: No! Why is this happening?!
2: Aahh!
3: King David ordered us not to kill him! We can capture him alive if he's like that!
4: Right...
5: Aahh! General Joab!

182)
1: Joab! Stop! Please! Let's talk this over!
2: I'm sorry, Absalom...
3: But this is what it means to go to war!
4: Sto...
SFX: FSSSH!

183)
1: Absalom is dead...
2: But it's really all my fault...
3: My poor son...
4: King David...
5: Is your son the only thing you ever think about?! What about the soldiers who risked their lives to protect you?!
6: I'm sorry.
7: Everyone, you did wonderfully! Thank you!
8: Hooray! Long live King David!
SFX: HOORAY

184)
1: It looked as if David's throne had finally been secured...
2: but soon a long famine came, and the battles with the Philistines continued. Eventually, Saul's descendants also rose up against David's family.
3: After much turmoil, Israel finally succeeded in defeating the Philistines once and for all and securing all of their promised land.
4: We've finally acquired all of the land that the LORD promised to us. I wonder how many there are of us now?
5: Shall I go around and take a census?
6: Please! I must know.

185)
1: But it may seem threatening or invite resistance from the people...
2: And should we include the soldiers in the population count?
3: Just count them for me, please! Hurry!
4: As you wish...
5: It took close to 300 days for Joab to finish his census.
6: Why couldn't I have just resigned myself to not knowing?
7: The only reason I sent him out there was simply because I wanted to know the answer so badly...
8: And so, as his decisive power, spirit, and patience dwindled, David grew old.

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